Homesickness and how to cope with it
From Mia, RA of Wellbeing 2023:
Whether you have moved from the comforts of your home that’s a 15-minute drive down the road or 15-hour plane flight across the globe, it is completely normal to experience feelings of distress and separation from the places, people, and even pets you know and love. For some of you, this may be the first time you have ever lived out of home, and I am incredibly proud of you for taking that step out of your comfort zone and pursuing your own journey.
There are ways to combat these feelings that can be really intense at times, however, it's important that you do acknowledge them, as it can be very easy to ignore or suppress them as you try to keep up with the new, fast-paced lifestyle you have just entered. It's important to understand that settling into new routines, and adjusting to and feeling more comfortable in your "home away from home" can and will take some time, and you are allowed to give yourself the patience and time to miss the people and places you've left behind.
This year will be my 3rd year living away from my home, and as much as I adore my life here at Tommy More, and am grateful for my decision to come here, there are still moments when all I want is my mother's spaghetti bolognese or a cuddle with my cat. I remember in my fresher year, after casino night, waking up and instinctively thinking, "I need to go debrief that one with Leila (my little sister)," then coming to the quick (and sad) realisation that she no longer sleeps down the hall from me. Any sort of change can be difficult, even if the change itself is positive, but as humans, we seek comfort in what is familiar to us.
WAYS TO DEAL WITH HOMESICKNESS:
Get out of college for a bit. Now, as much as I love this place (I wouldn’t be here a 3rd year if I didn't) it can become pretty overwhelming and honestly draining at times when you are socialising 24/7, and with activities and events happening all the time, I know even I feel guilty for not attending everything when my social battery is flat and I don't have the energy for others (& even myself sometimes, let's be real). When I feel this way, one of my go-to practices of self-care is to go for a walk in either Kings Park, along Mounts Bay road, or through UWA, with my headphones in and just decompress in nature and literally walk away from the intensity of life as a student. Bayside Kitchen is my favourite place to reward myself with an overpriced vanilla iced latte. If you have a car, another thing I tend to do is go for what I call a "therapy drive" and I'll just do laps upon laps around the roads of Kings Park with my music up so loud and just scream-sing until I feel better.
Reach out to others for support. Talk to your fellow residents about how you're feeling, because chances are they could be feeling the same uncertainties that you're experiencing. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that, know that you are more than welcome to message any RA or committee member you feel safe with and we will be there to listen. All of us on the leadership team were freshers too, we have been in your shoes; we know those feelings, and you're not alone.
Organise a set time to phone home. As I have previously mentioned, uni & college life is pretty jam-packed, so I highly suggest communicating with your family and friends to find a designated time for a call, whether that be every other day, weekly, or fortnightly. For myself and many of my friends here at Tommy More, we found that phoning mum or dad whilst driving to/from work or uni works nicely, since it's just that one-on-one time. Maybe you could phone after or during quad coffee every Sunday at 3pm, or an early Monday morning call at 7am sitting outside at the dining hall during breakfast.
Decorate your room with posters, trinkets, photos, or books that remind you of home. Personally, it took me until my second year at college to actually realise how beneficial this is for a person's well-being, as I hadn't put much thought into making my room my own as a fresher. Take the time you need to personalise your room, so it becomes a space that you feel truly comfortable in, and proud of.
If you made it this far reading this, thank you for taking the time to do so and I hope that it helped at least 1 person to feel less alone as they try to find their feet here in their new home. Please remember that your RA's, Mim, and Sally (College Wellbeing Advisor) are always here to listen and support you through whatever it is you may be going through, just flick us a message 🙂 I hope you all have a lovely day.